Saturday, October 29, 2011

Where Improper Grammar Will Land You.

The prelude to this post is that I don't claim to be a grammar whiz, and the intricacies of perfect English sometimes fail me, BUT. I did go to fifth grade. Also middle school. Also high school. And while I felt a little gypped that in my world-class American education I didn't get more opportunities to actually write and be creative, I aced those hundreds upon hundreds of worksheets.
And actually it's very silly because I get very legitimately upset when I see these craplings.

My favorite grammar fails of late:
1. "I totally balled reading that just now." No, no you didn't.

2. "This is a picture of are house." F'real?

3. The ever present incorrect usage of "there" they're" and "their." I SWEAR we spent an entire month in each year of school on this topic.

4. The straw that broke this camel's back: an email that was sent to me from BYU, somewhat officially, begging me to take a survey as usual. I need to let the world of people who want me to take a survey know that I am much more likely to take your dang survey if you just ask nicely, once, without a littering of exclamation points and ALL CAPS WHEN NOTHING YOU'RE SAYING IS ACTUALLY THAT ESSENTIAL.

Sadly I think I deleted the email in a fit of rage, but here's what I remember:
"PLEASE take this survey! As user's of the library this effects you!!!!..."
I hate.
I am mostly very nice and I take those surveys.
Not today, Zurg.
Consider this your invitation to share your grammar horror stories.

1 comment:

Claire said...

Dude. Story of my life. You should try coming to one of my editing classes. We usually spend half our time talking about silly mistakes we've seen around.
Just today, on a sign at Target, very official, I read:
"The best way to breath easy! Try them today!"

I wanted to take a picture.