Tuesday, April 6, 2010

makeshift journ

I’m feeling a whole lot of feedback from Heaven about my life. Can you tell that?

One time last week I dropped a Book of Mormon on a stranger’s doorstep while I was running. It was crazy and felt ridiculous at first but I felt to do it and so I did.

One time a few weeks ago I felt like it was really important to call up this boy that hasn’t been in my life for real since I was 17 and talk to him all important-like. I got in his car having no idea what to say. And I said mush for a long time before I figured out why I was there. We talked about HIS important stuff and it was one of those moments where you feel so validated by the whole world because the risk you took was helpful to someone else. I felt so hugely to bring him back into my sphere for one reason at first. It wasn’t the right reason. But I figured it out, and finally, FINALLY, I can fully let the particles of that part of my life fall in the right place.

It felt good to let it go.

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Sandwiched between two date nights, I didn’t feel awk. I just ate my bad-breath imparting vegetable crackers and wrote in the failing light of the De Jong, ready to scribble down observations about conducting. Concerts like this make me feel stuffy and penguinesque when I’m not a part of them. Like I wanna run up and do something loud like bang on the piano and shout gibberish.

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MAN MY LIFE IS NUTS!

I’ve written variations on this phrase no less than 16 times per week in my makeshift journ.

I also write to myself in that place.

You create your own awesomeness. Raise your hand and be in charge of your life. Make it what you want. It’ll go.

Alma 26:16—“Therefore, let us glory, yea, we will glory in the Lord; yea, we will praise God forever. Behold, who can glory too much in the Lord? Yea, who can say too much of his great power, and of his mercy, and of his long-suffering towards the children of men? Behold, I say unto you, I cannot say the smallest part which I feel.”

I’ll keep trying to express how amazing He is making my life.

2 comments:

Rebeccah Louise said...

this is great. I'm so glad that you're feeling His hand in your life.

And I would LOVE to go to a concert where you ran onstage, banged on the piano, and shouted gibberish.

sista jones. said...

seriously, grab life by the FREAKIN reigns! that's been my motto for a while now. make your opportunities happen; they won't always just come to you. this isn't advice for you (you seem to already be doing that), but i am merely endorsing you.