David, can't you help a sister out?

Hi, I'm David Archuleta, and I am freaking sexy.

Not only will my gorgeous vocal chords blow your mind and make you want to bear my children, I am the nicest, most adorable boy in the world. I am coming to the E Center on March 27 to perform because I knew it would make Brooke so, so happy...but I had to go and be so awesome and everyone and their grandma wants to come so Brooke might have to drop out of college to be there.

I just hope she doesn't turn into this girl, otherwise we probably can't get married like we planned.