Tuesday, June 30, 2009


new post.


taffy jar, open book, open browser window.
you have voicemail.

mason jar of water.
pink post-it, hello, nathan yeoung, fix the wsr website.
baskets, pencils, bamboo plants with dying tips.
kimi's getting married, you know.
bookmarks, magnets, some girl lapped up the pamphlets of her own accord.
parisian kiss--black light for a mormon dance party, creepers with beer pong
when brycen buried kaylie's car in snow and the boys stayed up all night for fear of what we would do.

cheapskates, styrofoam cups with change in them for copies
haven't made them in months
and it feels so good to my insides, not churning or steeped in ink
or rather, toner
of seventy million colors
still have the pens
the pad of paper corner-rounded and lined in red
like a kiss of Pantone 187, red lipstick
real, this time
so real i feel, and my face flushes

i can't post that.
click, click, tap
what is that noise

a placemat

i wish i could have a placemat for my life, to know where to set my plates

my Self

efy counselors
will i be one?
hope i'm not married
there's so much life to live before that time
but the salmon pink color reminds me of the flushing face,
my impatience
for no explicable reason
is that a word?
i haven't written this way for so long
the obsession with perfection, coherence, and time
no tengo tiempo, amigos
only for taffy and boyfriends and sushi two days close by
taffy and boyfriend every day
clicking, tired eyes
sighs for music education and everything else on my plate
longing for a placemat

Monday, June 29, 2009

to enlighten you,

1. sushi is most wonderful when enjoyed with a sushi expert, who also happens to be ambidextrous and really, really dreamy.
thanks, Boyfriend. sorry my chopstick abilities are severely...severe. dismal. in the most terrible way.
i will practice, then i will be irresistable to you?

2. brothers are most wonderful when they are home from their missions. they are funny when they are still a lil awk around girls. they are excellent at doing disneyworld things. they are suddenly really great at calling you and caring about your life and advice.

3. other brothers are most wonderful when they are confessing your likage of your boyfriend to said boyfriend...and telling Boyfriend that you guys can never break up, coupled with a marriage threat.
bonus: denying all recollection of having made such threats.

4. mothers are most wonderful when they...well, all the time, who am i kidding. they make you feel like a million bajillion bucks for doing the most barely noteworthy tasks. they are excellent at all things womanly, and make you feel like you can semi-do the impossible task of filling their shoes one day. which is awesome.

5. friends are most wonderful when they...be with you.
close runner ups include but are not limited to when they make beautiful music with you, and get terribly, terribly sore with you (for non-legit reasons, so they will remain nameless) and take your pasta salad into the house for you, and go visiting teaching with you.

Friday, June 26, 2009

never breaking up

Sitting in a restaurant, sipping water and listening to live music; wearing a skirt, feeling grown up but not knowing where my statements are, unable to pay bills because I've lost my checkbook.

Dimly lit restaurant, thinking about pressures and my major and how I'd really rather not worry about things. I needed the strength of the temple today, but it was closed. Why! Claire and I laid on the grass instead, in the dribbling rain drops, giggled and giggled and thought about how tied our hearts are--how we're never breaking up. We looked up and could see nothing, nothing but sponge-painted gray clouds, and the top pricks of evergreen trees.

"I wonder why God made us so small," I muse, enveloped by sheets and sheets of mosaic gray.

They are curved in a way that makes me think I have been swallowed by the whole world, digested and plopped at the core. Turns out it's not hot; turns out it's raining there, in actuality.

"Yeah," she agrees. " I feel big and small, at different times. But I feel big right now."

We know Washington, us two; we know gray skies and clouds and rain; and somehow had neither one laid in the drops ever before.

Drip, drop

Claire's green shirt dampens

my freshly shaven legs feel prickly

I looked into her wide brown eyes and found things there I've somehow never looked at, like I was seeing her for the first time, enjoying her easy laugh and expressive hands. If I could describe our relationship in that silence, in that effortlessly falling rain, I would maybe cite giggles and holdings and how we just appreciate and understand each other; maybe I'd talk of how we love the same things and how she excites and inspires me; how we're soul mates of sorts, perhaps I'd say. But I didn't want to crackle the silence that was so full.

Maybe I'll mention, then, how we're both sitting close, in the same silence--writing in our journals. This silence is now filled to tipping point with really beautiful music.

I can't break away to study theory when there's all of what I actually want out of music sitting here, in a dimly lit restaurant, without pretense of a skirt
or shoes that make sound
or flat hair matted by the greatest rainfall I can think of.
so young.


sunburn. walt disney world. magic. fireworks. chandlers. mexican food, delicious. closest family bonding to date. lost in the car. sweaty, hot, breathing more water than air. running, dripping for a ridiculous amount of time. sharing a bed with b., rolling him over so as not to be crushed. hosekeeping. confusing cameron for garrett. pass along cards. shake&bake chicken. copious amounts of hamburgers, pizza, and ice cream. white sand. missing out on the girls' adventures. driving in the city. highway. fans. airplane. funny brennon: "i'm clever!" , "garrett, you smell like socks." family vacation.

Traveling is one of my all-time favorite things to do. Take that back, the ultimate favorite. I adore airports. Seeing busy people from busy places all over buy expensive coffee and fiddle on their laptops. I love to smell that coffee, gosh. I think about what life is like for them, what the Wednesday I go to Disneyworld looks like through the prism of their life. I love to press my nose against the plexiglass of the plane window (which is most likely not plexiglass at all, I have no idea, in truth) and I look out and down at the world in green and brown squared and perfectly orchestrated trails of bluish-brown water. So mechanically wonderful and magnificently un-flawed. Magic.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Dear Michael Jackson

Don't die, please! I know you are a rotten person but I love you and your music is music to my ears, and it is so great, and you are still an icon to me, and although you probably should have keeled over years ago to preserve some sort of dignity I want you back!

There was still some flicker of hope inside my heart that he would decide to change his life and make more wonderful, wonderful music. That was all I wanted. Is this so unreasonable?

Sorry Michael, about the whole dying gag. Sorry that you had to kick the can in such a sorry state. Good luck in the hereafter--you're going to really, really need it. You'll always be the King of Pop to me, and I will force my children to listen to you and adore you as I. Your legacy will live on. I am glad your fashion sense has not. Love, Brooke

p.s. FARRAH died today too? What kind of day is this??

Monday, June 15, 2009

back on the map

Back in the habit; making sisters blissfully happy since 1988.
He's here.
He's worth the wait.

Friday, June 12, 2009

SERIOUS AS A HEART ATTACK...which i may have at any moment.

No apologies. I'm too excited for that. if you don't read this, i understand.


i ate monkey bars for breakfast because i was so excited. (the sugar probably isn't helping))
this is serious and real and actual. question mark? that's the part i cannot for the life of me wrap my brain around.

"I can't take this no more!" Quoting The Sandlot to Eric in desperation, on my way (again, terribly late) to work.

[laugh] "MOVE!" Of course Eric knows the next line. Garrett does too. Maybe. If he even remembers English. Engrish.

"10 hours," he says. How is he so calm and collected?

"10 hours?!!!" I yelp. "That's soooo looooongggg!! I'm not going to maaaaake it!" Whine, whine, whine.

"Better than 10 days!" Who is the adult here, I mean really.

"What's the first thing you're going to do when you see him?!" I squeal.

"I dunno, probably compare height. See how much he's got on me."

Mom just gets on the phone and screams.
"Are you so excited?"

"Mom, I'm DYING. I might perish before I get to see this boy."

She giggles like I do when Jared is in the vicinity. "I'm going to wake up three times in the night to check on him and make sure he's actually still there, home, sleeping in his bed, like a real person who lives and breathes. I practiced last night."

I am unfit for any task other than yelling very loudly and giggling. And going to the bathroom seventeen times an hour.
and typing things like this asdjfoaisjdf;aklsjdf;aklsjdfa;lskfjd
today's the day.
serious as a heart attack. i might have one out of sheer joy. does that even happen? whatever. anyway, i better get back to yelling loudly/giggling/having a heart attack.


Thursday, June 11, 2009

Fife hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes, times two.

I know I keep posting about this, but this feeling that I might pee my pants if I don't talk about it incessantly is mildy uncomfortable. I will try to disguise it with other rantings, too, maybe.
Brother. 29 hours. I never thought it'd get this close, like he's been away so long that I was planning on him never returning. Like somehow time would just stop, as it seems to have been doing for the past two years. But with the same breath, in this time, my real life began--and I did anything but stop. Real life as a semi-adult, with responsibility, and less parents and that type of thing.

Garrett hasn't seen me graduated from high school, let alone a junior in college. He hasn't seen my running shoes or my blonde streak, my pictures of him all over bulletin board and cell phone background. He vaguely knows only one of my four best friends in the world. He hasn't watched me freak out and roll around giggling about being a music teacher in the inner city, or cry and cry when the opportunity I wanted so badly brushed my fingertips and flitted away at my own request. I didn't know the plan as a high school kid, when we knew each other last.

In these two years I pulled my first all nighter and did my own taxes, chopped off all my hair and got a boyfriend, voted for the first black president in American history and got in my first car accident. ((not in that order)). I somehow accumulated a $250 iPod and a $450 camera, a sufficient library when I'd vowed never to buy books, and a lacking bank account with all the money I've pitched on rent and tuition and heaven knows how many restaurants--but mostly, I just accumulated great youtube videos and a deeper love for everything I already liked a whole lot, like music and people and loving.

Garrett wasn't there for my seemingly countless encounters with the police for my delinquency, or for the funeral of our great-grandma. He didn't hold me through the cycle of six different jobs or five different moves, of four wonderful roommates and one completely, totally crazy one.

So I've ripped a dozen contacts, paid $4.00 and half that for a gallon of gas, been places and back.

It's so off that it's all been without him.

and yet I know, I just know--after 17, 531. 625 hours of not seeing each other, we will pick right up in 29, without skipping a beat. that's probably the best part of the brother package, i feel.
See you tomorrow.
(just as i suspected: that's a whole lot more excellent than "see you in two years.")

Tuesday, June 9, 2009


aeioU aRe a thing of beauty.

in theory

hey music education i'd like to give you a piece of my mind why do you want me to apply in july i want to start you in the fall but i just dunno if i can pull myself together in less than a month and you are hard and i don't know you and theory is lame and i just want ease so please can we arrange this that would please me thank you brooke

Monday, June 8, 2009

"just party and cry and love each other and go crazy!"

from brooke beecher <brookebee@gmail.com>
to Garrett Beecher <gbeecher@myldsmail.net>
date Sun, Jun 7, 2009 at 11:52 AM
subject Re: A God of Miracles
hide details Jun 7 (2 days ago)

Elder Beecher,

I was so, so happy to get your email and hear that our fasting helped! We sure do think of you, so much. I know that our God is a God of miracles, and that He really does give us all we need. You have definitely gained a witness of this throughout your mission, and I think that testimony is essential.

As I was getting ready for church today I just kept thinking about how lucky and blessed I am to have the knowledge of the gospel, and how I couldn't function without it. There is so much to worry about even with the knowledge of who I am, where I came from and where I'm going--I can't imagine living without it. I'm so proud and grateful that you have spent this time sharing the light we have with the world.
You have been so strong, and accomplished so much in helping the Lord's work progress.

It's kind of odd that this is the last email I will be sending to you. I'm sure you have some things to wrap up as the last email sesson/pday, so I will be brief.

Jared is here visiting this weekend. We've had a wonderful couple of days together, and we're going to the family's tonight for dinner. It's been so, so great to just be able to be with him, instead of having to just rely on talking on the phone. With just that I forget he's a real person...kind of like you, hah. But needless to say this weekend has been spectacular so far. He has an interview at the MTC tomorrow to teach, and then three more weeks and then he's back foreva!
I feel stupid talking about dumb details of my life because, I don't know if you know this, but I'm going to see you on FRIDAY.
So be good. Keep the faith.
Know how much I love you, and how much Heavenly Father loves you. I know that He is so proud of you and will bless you so immensely for your service. OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHh I LOVE YOU!! GOSH, I JUST LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE YOU! alksdjflaksdjflaksdjflaskdjf. It is overwhelming sometimes. Like right now.

Yeah, so, see you later. Like on Friday.


from Garrett Beecher <gbeecher@myldsmail.net>
to mailto:tbrookebee@gmail.com
date Sun, Jun 7, 2009 at 7:43 PM
subject Re: Re: A God of Miracles

Holy crap friday! You hit it on the head sister! We are going to just party and cry and love each other and go crazy! Oh man I am freaking out right now! I have truly been blessed! I love you so much thanks for all the e-mails and love throughout the (literally) yearS. So glad we are going to be reunited so soon! Well I can't even think right now but just know I love you and I can't wait to see you in 100 hours!


Friday, June 5, 2009

Forget being a Mary Kay consultant.

I wish DI wanted to pay me to advertise for them--because I totally would. Will.
My entire outfit yesterday cost me a grand total of $11. And it was cute.
I'm adoring my thirtyseven new pairs of shoes, although the zapatos I am currently wearing are full of weird yellow sand. It's a package deal. You pay four dollars flat for these amazing shoes, and they thrown in weirdyellowsand as bonus. Thanks, DI.

If I were the spokeswoman of DI (and this is a real possibility, because why would they not want me? Plus I am cooler than all those little stick figures drawn around the globe) these would be my selling points:
1. DI has a very distinct odor, that is unpleasant only until one arrives at the blazer round

2. Which is brimming with mounds of shoulder pads and conspicuously large circus pants.
a. and crushed velvet jewel encrusted numbers that warrant a separate trip to show your co-workers.

3. You can buy books for like, 50 cents. I cannot stress this one enough. Do you know how much fifty cents is?

4. You can also buy a sweet comforter/picnic blanket that you can wash with a sweet floral dress that Claire apparently had in the fifth grade that can be also washed with a five dollar beach towel from Wal Mart which will leave your sweet comforter and floral dress covered in sticky pink lint growth. Stupid Wal Mart.

5. They have the most excellent selection of wedding dresses. I am considering making a wedding blog entirely devoted to DI weddings. Like DIY, but only DI. I understand if you want to be involved.

6. You can go there during work to buy supplies for your commercial.

7. And you can find THIS lovely, lovely...item in the process. This is the most convincing reason of all. Because it is magic, at the low, low price of $4. This is the tops, darlings. I am telling you, there is nothing better in this world than what you have just witnessed. Except for maybe putting on the Magic yourself...which can be arranged, probably.

8. There are jewelry cases, with LOCKS. For the 75% off $4 collections, of course.

9. THERE IS A GLADYS NIGHT CD FOR $1.00. My favorite track, currently, is "Good Morning, Heavenly Father."

10. All the workers wear those incredible maroon vests, so official. Maybe if my gig as a spokeswoman doesn't work out, I will consider employment so I can obtain one of these vests.

I will be posting pictures of these things of beauty I have described to you.
Feel free to tell me what a great DI representative I would be.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Drinking Fountain Findings

As we (type/read), outside of my office, in the drinking fountain, there is a blade of grass.
Grass in the drinking fountain. My first reaction was, "Oh, cool! Grass!" And then I thought, "Well, I should probably be a little grossed/weirded out by this."
I'm still stuck on the first thought train.

Please share all your nasty/cool drinking fountain/other public entity findings with me.


Mee toooo! Everything looks better as a polaroid, right.
(full credit to Kendra, who started the awesomeness.)

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

I will name my firstborn 'June'

June 3, 2009.
This June's gonna be a great June. Possibly a June to kick all other June's butts.
My brother, my older brother, my best friend brother, gets to fall into my arms in no less than nine days. NINE. I don't know how experienced you are at counting, but people, this is HUGE. Or rather--very small.
If you have spoken to me in the past oh, five months, you understand that I am going crazy. nuts. bonkers. batty. dopey. alfjdalksfjdalsjdfioasjdf.
This brother of mine, he's been a favorite for a while now. A recent favorite: this boy I know named Jared. He's pretty cool. HE gets to fall into my arms...er, I mean, yeah, whatever...in no less than two days, for short, and twenty-one days for long.

Also coming this June: Disneyworld. 'Nuff said, yes?! Family vaca, altogether for the first time in a long time, and probably for the last time in a long time.
Yes, yes, June, I'm feeling pretty great about you this go round.

Monday, June 1, 2009

Honest Monday

I suppose every day should be honest, but this Monday I am being extra up front.
This translates to complaining.

I HAVE THE BIGGEST MOSQUITO BITE IN HISTORY. AND I have no idea how it happened, because it is in a, er, remote location, where clothing was absolutely covering--or rather, is covering, at all times (unless, of course, I am undressing in front of the entire Enclave--a different topic entirely. More on that in a bit). I would take a picture, but. hmf. Just trust me. This thing is hugemongous. Bigfoot in mosquito bite form. This is not a joke. And this means itching, people. OHHHH it begs me to scratch and claw and X-mark all day long! Which presents yet another problem: because of the remote location of Bigfoot Bite, it doesn't look so hot to onlookers when I oblige. To top it all off, I have about seventeen other bites obtained from a grand total of two hours outside yesterday. The most ridiculous of these being right below my left eyebrow. Who knew there was even stuff to suck there? Freak, I'm going to need a blood transfusion by the end of the summer.

I really, really, really like chocolate covered cinnamon bears. And I consumed a ridiculous amount today.

I recently learned that I sometimes unknowingly undress in front of the entire Enclave; turns out if you twist the blinds UP it appears as if your blinds are completely open. Now the entire ward will be painfully aware of Bigfoot Bite. Pooh, poo.

I really, really hate dressing up for work some days. And I don't even dress up that much! It was a mad rush for the pj's upon arriving home today, and I am most likely going to attend FHE in the "Official Band Member: Watch out for BURSTS of Enthusiasm" shirt I am sporting.
I lead such an unglamorous life. Sometimes I'm bad at being girly.

Other times I am really, really good at being girly. e.g. with Jared Schultz. My boyfriend, hehh. I'm good at being girly-annoying in that category, yep.

I really, really would like Kaylie to come over this minute. She is quite a lovely girl, and my Self needs more of her Self. And so, I submit this query to the universe: please bring me more Kaylie, I would like this very much, please and thank you, Brooke.

And that is all for bloggifying my steady stream of whining. Thanks for tuning in.